Natural Revelation Church

This Church holds that the natural world is a source of revelation, and that honest observation is a form of reverence.

We do not ask anyone to believe anything that cannot be viewed. We ask instead that what is viewed be reported truthfully, including the parts that are inconvenient to whoever is doing the viewing.

There are three principles. They are short, and we mean them literally.

The Principles

1. The text must be read entire. If the natural order is testimony, it is testimony in whole and not in part. A tradition that calls nature the work of God, and then declares some well-documented portion of that work disordered, is not reading the text. It is editing it. We decline to edit it.
2. Marriage is the celebration of desire, not its containment. A wedding exists because two people want each other. Almost every traditional rite is constructed to say anything but that. We solemnise marriage on the opposite premise, and we say so out loud, in front of everyone they invited.
3. The sin is not desire. The sin is concealment. Where desire is treated as sin it does not cease — it goes unspoken, and concealment is the thing that actually damages people. This Church asks of its members not chastity, not conformity and not enthusiasm. Only that they tell the truth about what they want.

Read the Founding Principles in full →

The Saints

This Church canonises the living and the dead, and states its reasons.

Saint Calvin Coolidge patron of the design as found

A president remembered for saying little, whose name was nevertheless attached to the plainest fact about desire that everyone would prefer not to discuss. Canonised not for continence but for the shape of his reply. The evidence he stands for →

Saint Grace Coolidge patron of the first question

She asked the farmer first. There is no Coolidge Effect without her, and the tradition of crediting the man for the better line is precisely the sort of tidy editing this Church declines to perform.

Saint Edward Craven Walker patron of the body

An accountant of Dorset, a naturist, a maker of films in which people swam without clothes, and the inventor, in 1963, of the lava lamp. That the lamp moves behind the name of this Church is not decoration. It is veneration.

The Register of Observations

Doctrine here is not handed down. It is observed, recorded, and left standing where anyone can check it. Each entry states what was observed, on what evidence, and what the Church takes to follow from it.

Nothing is ever removed. A teaching later found mistaken is not deleted and not edited — a new entry records the error and the evidence that corrected it, and the old one remains legible, marked superseded. A church whose cardinal sin is concealment may not quietly retire its own embarrassments.

Read the Register →

The Academy

This Church is the chaplaincy of the Academy of Sex, and the arrangement is the ordinary one between a college and its chapel.

The Academy studies how desire works. The Church holds that desire is part of the design and that concealing it is the harm. Same claim, one in the lecture hall and one at the altar — which is why neither has to explain the other.

Marriages

The founding Bishop is licensed by the Hawaiʻi Department of Health to solemnise marriages and civil unions anywhere in the State — on a cliff, in the water, at four in the morning, in a place that would be refused a licence almost anywhere else.

What that involves, and what it costs →